Working Mom

Ever since I became pregnant, I've become hyper-sensitive to stories of children getting ill or hurt. Casey used to come home to me bawling my eyes out early on in my pregnancy because I had stumbled upon some blog of a mother having a stillborn or losing her child to some awful disease. Somebody just posted this blog on facebook http://prayingfornina.blogspot.com/ and it's definitely making me well up. I am going to have to squeeze Elle extra tight when she wakes up from her nap. 


What's new on the Thormahlen front? Well, let's see...I started work yesterday. My last day was November 5th. So bizarre being back after 3.5 months. My life has completely changed since then and it felt so normal to be back. Like nothing had ever happened. I'm so grateful that I love my company--it made  the "transition" so much easier. I had been really emotional about it since last week but felt fine once I was there yesterday. Poor Casey had to deal with me over the weekend. Casey took a vacation day and watched Elle while I was at work yesterday. Our roles completely reversed--he was the one texting me at 4:00 PM that there were only 2.5 hours left. Taking care of an infant is SO exhausting. Being back at work yesterday felt like a break for me and I hadn't had that much energy in awhile. Being a mommy is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and work is cake compared to it. We are still figuring out how my work-from-home days are going to work. It's impossible getting anything done during the day. And I absolutely do not want to plant my sweet angel in her bouncer while I type away at the computer. I wouldn't be able to get anything of quality done and I want to enjoy every second I have with her. 


In case you were wondering, Elle is now sleeping basically full-time in her crib. We sometimes move her to her bassinet when she wakes up at 4 AM for a feeding for her final 3 hours but that's it. She really is getting too big for it. I want to take a picture of her in it to compare it to her first picture in it before we put it away. I'll try to remember to do that soon. I can't believe Elle is already 3 months old. 

Elle's First Big Trip

We flew up to Ukiah yesterday so that Elle could meet her great grandmother. We left our home at 8:00 AM and were back around 6:00 PM. Our baby was a jetsetter! I was really nervous about how Elle would do and how we would squeeze in her naps and her feedings but everything went really smoothly. Casey and I definitely gave eachother high fives on the drive home for how well we "managed" our baby on the-go. Although I know she should be able to go 4 hours without eating at 3 months, I feed her on demand... which for Elle is every 1-2 hours while awake. I was a breastfeed-in-public pro by the end of the day. I fed her before we left, in the car at the airport, in the airport "terminal" when we arrived, at Casey's grandma's condo, in the car at the restaurant, and in flight. Here we are in flight on the way there...

Elle slept in the plane on the way there and didn't start fussing until the descent. We were contemplating putting her down for a nap immediately upon arrival but once we fed her and changed her diaper, we decided that since she was socially engaged with us, she was fine to go a little while longer. We took her to Great Grandma's nursing home and she was waiting outside for us! It was the sweetest thing. Elle gave her a big silly smile. 

Great Grandma's Poster

We then got some lunch and Elle joined us for a bit, too.

And we were back in the plane by 4:30 PM and off. Elle didn't do as well on the flight back but she still did pretty awesome. She spent more time out of her carseat and in mommy's lap. She got a little fussy during the end of the flight and was making funny faces in between short cries so we wondered if her ears were popping. All in all, her first trip was a definite success and I am so glad she was able to meet her Great Grandmother! 

Something to smile about

My sweet child laughed for the first time on Wednesday. I wasn't positive but then it happened a couple more times Thursday and today. It's a mix between a cough and choke with a big silly grin. I was tickling her little tummy today and she was giggling up a storm. I love her. 

A Day in the Life

I wanted to take a cute video of Elle's cooing but this is what I got instead...

Valentines Day

Before I forget, here are a few more pictures from Valentines Day. 

Casey came home with flowers for Elle. Casey and I also each got her a card. Mine is on the left, and Casey's is on the right. We took turns reading them to her later that evening. 

As for Elle right now, well...she is napping in her...

Napping

Working on trying to figure out Elle's sleep schedule is SO time-consuming. I'm watching her like a hawk to try to figure out when she is getting tired and playing with her like crazy when she's awake. So far, it seems like she sleeps for 30 minutes every hour or so. I logged her sleep yesterday and actually made a concerted effort to get her to take frequent naps and I found that she slept 15 hours. She slept for 13 (!!!) hours during the night with a wake-up at 12:00 AM and 4:00 AM for feedings/diaper changes when we put her down at 6:30 PM. The downside of the early bedtime is that is when Casey gets home. Also, that's when I'll be getting home when I go back to work next week. Maybe doing things by the book isn't for us. But I have to say that the best part of this so far is that everytime she wakes up from a nap, she greets me with a HUGE silly smile. 

Sleep

I just started reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth yesterday and I can't get enough of it. I haven't gotten very far yet but I've already learned so much about Elle's sleep needs. It's one of those books that I wish I had read while I was still pregnant, or even in the first few weeks. On a sad note, it seems like we're going to have to drastically cut our trips down to OC because they interfere with her sleeping needs. Adelie (she recommended the book to me) warned me that it's an absolutely amazing book but we're going to have to make a lot of social sacrifices. I'm starting to see what she meant. Casey and I had planned to run some errands yesterday evening but after spending the afternoon reading about how infants need an early bedtime (like 6:30-7:00 PM), we nicked the idea. I've learned that sleeping in the carseat, the bouncer, or in someone's arms absolutely does not count as a nap and is not restful sleep. So, taking Elle around a few stores while she sleeps in the stroller is not ideal. I've also learned that infants have a 1-2 hour max window of wakefulness between sleeps. I'm not sure where Elle is on that currently so I'm tracking her sleeping and eating times today to see how she's doing. This book could not have come at a more opportune time either. For about a week or so, she has become so much more vocal when she is tired and sometimes even works herself up in a frenzy she gets so upset (read: at my parent's house on Friday). Remember my posts about her early evening screaming fits? And now that I think about it, her last "real" sleep on Friday was from about 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM. Poor baby was hysterical by 6:30 PM. I also stopped going to my "Mother's Gathering" class a few weeks ago because we were either on the road or in class from 9:15 AM to 12:30 PM and Elle essentially cried the whole class, every class. I realized that if we were at home, she would be sleeping at that time. I also realized that I wasn't learning anything I didn't already know from all the grad/undergrad Developmental Psychology courses I took. 


I go back to work a week from today and I feel like there's a lot to do to prepare for that. I have to sanitize Elle's bottles, pump a day's supply of milk, stock up on pumping accessories like storage bags and sanitizing tools, make sure all her essential baby things are easy to find, figure out what to do with the dogs while my mom is here, get my eyebrows threaded... JK but I do need to prim myself up a bit too and buy work-friendly, pump-friendly clothing. I also need to make sure my workspace at home is ready. And most importantly, I feel like I should finish up this sleep book ASAP so we can begin a schedule with Elle so the grandmas aren't left with an upset and tired infant. Motherhood is such a funny thing. It's literally the only job I've ever had, and will ever have, that I strive to be absolutely perfect in and feel pretty guilty when I fall short. I'm getting better on the guilt thing though--no more crying at the sight of neck rashes. 

A Picture Post

Friday night, Casey and I went to a wine bar with his family while my parents watched Elle. Yes, it was our first time "out"! Unfortunately for my parents, Elle had one of her worst crying fits yet. And by one of her worst, I mean absolute worst. Definitely a good time but I paid for it the next day. I wonder if I get hungover more easily because I'm breastfeeding. My gut tells me yes. 

Family Photo Attempt

Poor sweet Elle

At Bacchus

Saturday was Casey's birthday and we dressed Elle up in a cute little dress to celebrate! Casey, Elle, and I walked to Cinnamon Productions in the morning for some breakfast. I ordered an iced coffee and the cashier gave me a plastic cup and told me I could fill it with ice and coffee from the machines. Nevermind on the iced coffee! Yikes! Casey and I then went to the Spectrum to pick out his first pair of nice sunglasses. This is something  Casey had been avoiding for awhile because he thought the process would be pretty painful but the salesclerk and I had him covered and we were out the door in 10 minutes. My husband is looking pretty hot in his Dior Aviators! We finished the day off with a trip to Cost Plus World Market for Casey's current favorite beer, Allagash, and walked over to Whole Foods for some dinner and dessert to-go. Yup, we were in bed and asleep by 9 PM. 

Elle dressed up for her daddy's bday

We gave Miss Elle a bath early Sunday morning and I snapped a few shots. We usually bathe her in the evenings before bed but we were too tired Saturday evening and she was overdue. Smelly Ellie! Lucky for us she LOVES her baths!

Looking at Daddy

This was followed by a quick trip to my sister's new house in Anaheim. She is newly engaged! Congratulations Agie and Brian!

The ring

At Auntie Agie's house

As for today, Elle and I have no plans! I'm thinking about taking a trip to HomeGoods later in the afternoon. I need to find a keepsake box for Elle's special baby things. Like her adorable teeny hospital bracelet! Casey and I popped in there Saturday night and I saw the most amazing loveseat ever. It would be beyond perfect for Elle's room someday. A great reading spot :) I wish I could stumble upon it in 3 years! I might go and drool on it a little more. Otherwise, Happy Valentine's Day from...

Finger food

Yesterday was my 25th birthday. It felt like my 30th, it was a great day, but that isn't the point of this post. Yesterday Elle did the cutest, most purposeful thing that hints at how smart she is getting.

Ania and I were taking turns eating in bed while holding Ellie. It was my turn to hold Elle, so I was sitting cross-legged in bed, creating a little "bowl" for her to put her head on me knee and kick freely toward my other leg. Unusually, Elle wasn't too interested in her pacifier but was staring and cooing and playing with my fingers. This is all fairly normal. I was talking back to her, replying with "O rly?" to her coos and she stared back straight in my eyes and squeezed my left index finger, harder than she ever has before. I commented to Ania how strong she is getting. Then Elle pulled my hand really hard toward her mouth so that my pinkie was flush against her mouth and started vigorously sucking and making happy coo sounds. I have never seen her use her hands so purposefully, she clearly wanted to suck on the skin of my finger and knew how to get it. She slobbered all over my finger for a good ten minutes cooing happily. What a great birthday present Ellie.

Happy Birthday

Happy 25th Birthday to the love of my life! You are the most amazing husband a woman could ever ask for and the most wonderful father to our child. I love you till death do us part.  

A milestone retracted

Aaaaand Elle is back in our room. I'm just not ready yet. Baby steps. I'll start with having her nap in her crib and I'm sure by the time the grandmas start coming up to babysit she'll be in there full-time. That's the goal anyways. I stopped by my work yesterday and while chatting with the CEO, Greg, I told him that Elle had slept in her nursery for the first time. He told me that his twins started out in the nursery from the get-go because they didn't want to get attached. That's exactly what it is. I'm so attached it's not even funny. Now I wouldn't go there but my mind keeps wandering back to this contraption our former realtor, Chris, told us about. He said he loved having the kids sleep in their room with them and he had this thing where it's like an elevated bassinet for THE BED that goes between him and his wife. That's taking it a little far for us but it does sound amazing. I'll figure it out. Elle is still only 2 and a half months old so it's not like I'm pushing the envelope here. It's more that I know it's "time" to start the transition and I don't think I feel ready. 


I'm so happy it's Friday. You don't appreciate the weekend when you're in college or grad school. Everyday is essentially a weekend when you're in school. While my love affair for Fridays didn't start until I began working FT last April, it has definitely heightened now that I'm home with the baby and Casey is at work. I get excited at about 3 PM everyday because it means there are only a few hours left in the day before my husband gets home. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE spending the day with my infant but there is nothing like an extra pair of hands, among many other things. Today is an extra special Friday because Casey is taking a halfday and will be home in about 3 and a half hours! Woohoo! Which means I have that time to pack-up for our overnight trip down to Orange County. There is so much to think about when you're packing for a baby. Diapers, burp cloths, extra outfits, aspirator bulb, and on and on.


Last, I need to vent about our Basset Hounds. Being with them 24/7 has been driving me up the wall crazy. Lately, it is because of Marley's "knocking" at the doors. He used to only "knock" at the kitchen door to signal us that he wants to come back inside. Well, recently, he took up "knocking" at our bedroom door. The tricky thing is that his nails on the glass door is SO loud so I can't ignore it. I immediately go to the kitchen door and let him in. However, by doing so, I'm reinforcing this behavior and he has ONLY been knocking at our bedroom door lately. Which would be fine, whatever, except the baby is sleeping in there! We discussed his "knocking" with the trainer last summer because it was shredding our kitchen door. She thought it was great that he had found a way to signal us at all to let him out. Her suggestion was to put up a board of plexiglass on the kitchen door to save the door and make his knocking less obnoxious. Which we did but it doesn't resolve our current issue. The only solution I see is a doggie door but we don't have a good spot for it. One, because it would essentially render our driveway useless and either Casey or I would always have to park on the street. And two, because our house is on a platform, I don't think Delilah would be able to physically use the doggie door if it were at the kitchen door. She shouldn't even be climbing up the 2 steps to get in and out. I wish this weren't the case because a doggie door would be SUCH a huge relief for me. I let these dogs in and out about 2 dozen times throughout the day. The hardest is when I'm nursing Elle and they are clawing at the doors to get out like their life depended on it. Blarhgihigniegdngasi. While I'm definitely not excited about going back to work because I'll miss my little sweet pea like no other, I am kind of excited for the break from our dogs. They're exhausting. 

The Perpetrator

A milestone

Elle slept in her nursery last night. It was a big step for me. Usually, Casey and I are in bed by about 9:00 PM and asleep soon after. I think I stayed up for about an hour staring at the monitor and I felt really anxious about it too. Yikes. She did okay...just okay. I had to go in there 4 times. When she's in our room, she typically sleeps soundly from 9:00-3ish and starts fussing and needs the "extra help" by about 5 AM. I was happy the first time she peeped up and I needed to go into her nursery last night...after that I just wanted her to sleep through the night. We had a feeding at 1:30 AM and 4:45 AM and diaper changes with each. The other two times she was either fussing because her pacifier fell out or trying to break out of her swaddle. She's doing this thing where she lifts her butt up in the air and strongly kicks her legs so she scoots down. Elle started up at the "top" of her crib when we put her down and was at the bottom by this morning. Her legs were literally kicking the crib slats. I don't think she would be able to move like that if she weren't swaddled. 


I was pretty beat this morning so I plopped Elle in the Bjorn and walked to Coffee Bean for an iced coffee. It's about a mile away so it's an hour round-trip. It would definitely be faster to drive but I don't think it's worth it when I have to suit her up for the car and either carry the 20 lb carseat inside or set her stroller up for a 2 minute order. I at least get some exercise when I walk there. We then did some tummy time when we got back and I'm definitely seeing some improvements. She's still trying to eat the floor but her movements overall look more intentional and less jerky. Here is a picture from our tummy time. 

Who me?

Just wanted to say...

Good morning from my hand gumming balding sweetie!

This melts my heart

I'm catching up with videos we have been hoarding for the past 2 months. Here is one of the last few. This one just melts my heart Elle is so sweet and tiny. She was 4 weeks and a few days here. Listen to the adorable noises she makes when her pacifier falls out. I also love how delayed her scowl is. And before you call me mean for yanking her pacifier out, do know that tugging on it is a way to teach them how to hold it in their mouth. I'm not making this up. 

Looking forward

Elle has recently discovered how interesting the world is when her head isn't staring at the ceiling. Unless she is going to sleep, she no longer likes to be cradled. Instead, she wants to be propped up on your lap facing forward or, if you're walking, held vertically front-facing. If I try to hold her vertically facing me, she'll push off me and fuss until I switch her around. Yikes! No more one-arm carrying. 


I don't know what it is, but both last night and the night before she has cried inconsolably (!) in the evening for about 30 minutes or so. I'll hold her like I always do when she cries and she'll eventually calm down and furiously suck her pacifier for about 3 minutes before starting up again and around and around we go. She goes from perfectly content to this. I think she's ready for bed but I don't know why she is crying so relentlessly. Hopefully this does not repeat tonight.  Our poor baby :(


I did an insane workout this morning. Probably one of my first "intense" workouts since before our wedding (!). It was an hour-long circuit workout at Circuit Works in Venice. I can't move. 


A few pictures from the weekend. Enjoy!

Sleeping in the Bjorn

Love, sweet love...

Me: Our 7-year dating anniversary is coming up. Are you going to do something special for me?
Casey: Yeah, I'm going to get you drunk and kiss you.


Sigh. Que romantico. 

Another video

In case you were wondering, yes, it did "leak". 

Elle in living motion

Here are two semi-related videos.


First is a video from Ellie's first tummy-time. Ashamedly, it didn't happen until she was nearly two weeks old (12/5/10). We thought she was a bit more fragile than she may have been :) 

Second is a video of Elle's first go in her Bumbo. This video is from 1/29/11 and Elle is 2 days shy of 10 weeks old here.
 

So precious. I came down with a fever early Friday morning and had a few panic moments. Will I get the baby sick? Can I feed her? I learned that I not only can but I absolutely SHOULD feed her while I'm sick. The reasoning is that I most likely gave her whatever it is I had before my fever spiked and by breastfeeding, I'm giving her the antibodies to protect her little body from whatever it is I gave her. I love that. 

And in parting, here is some preciousness from sweet Elle at 2 weeks old. This is the outfit we had packed for the hospital for her going home outfit. She was SWIMMING in it. We didn't think to try it on again until 2 weeks later and it was the first and last time she wore it. Too small! She grew (is growing) so fast. 

Sharing some cuteness

Elle yesterday:

Elle today:

And a few close-ups...

Well, I guess her ability to fall asleep in the bouncer is consistent. Her nighttime sleeps are not. She was an angel Wednesday night and slept from 9 PM to...drumroll...4:45 AM. I only got up once to re-insert her pacifier and turn her ocean white noise back on. Last night, not so much. Baby girl was awake all night. That's okay though. One little smile and all is forgiven. 

Bummed

Elle is definitely getting too big for her bassinet. We wake up to her legs kicking the bottom edge of it. And I am definitely not ready for her to sleep in her own nursery yet. The American Pediatric Association recommends that baby's sleep in their parent's room for the first 3 months. Tight squeeze or not, I still have 3 more weeks, don't I?? :(